Is the first to go.
Bedtimes grow later and later
And then we show up at different times.
We are given to-go boxes even though we don’t really want to go
But we do anyway, smiling our superficial smiles.

Then we put on our fancy dresses and suits
To prove a point to no one but ourselves,
Sit in the car
Alone in the driveway.

We try to one-up each other
With fancy brands
And makeup.

We no longer wear Velcro shoes
And drink from sippy cups
Because they’re not in fashion.

We lie silently
As the noise grows louder
And towels begin to hold wetness for longer
And we have more room than we know what to do with.

There is a fork in the road.
We all go our separate ways,
Gravel crunching underneath our tires,
Sky fading to black,
The streetlights flicker.
I flicker back.

Every day when I walk home from school
I see a woman with her young son
Asking for money by the road.

I stick my hands in my pocket and
Turn my head away.
There is nothing I can do because
I only have three dollars on me.

The Houston heat is relentless
And I am tired.
I open Instagram on my phone as I pass the
Convenience store
So I can distract myself.

It looks like my country’s crazy president
Has done something crazy (again).

Shocker.

I like the post, and concede that
There is nothing I can really do other than a like
Because I am only fourteen.
This is enough.
(I add a repost on top of the like for my conscience.)

I head to my best friend’s house.
Did you know we’re in a water crisis right now?
I didn’t.
I like that reel, too.

Nothing more I can do.

I walk into her bedroom.
She complains about the state of the world.
Bombs, Iran, Israel
Oil.

We argue, we laugh, we play games
And before we can scroll away from the truth
Her eyes turn to mine, eyes wide.
Real people, she says.
They’re dying. What do we do?

I shrug. For now, I believe what I am told.
Test on Tuesday.

Tomorrow will go just about the same way.
I’ll walk past that woman on the side of the road
And tell myself there’s nothing I can do.

We’ll
Seduce ourselves with the sweet lies we’re told
Learn how to prioritize the wealth of the one percent
Soothe ourselves with the faint warmth
Of the people not on television
Burning in our kitchen.

There’s this girl I’ve been avoiding.

I’ve known her for a long time,
And we were close some time ago.
But at some point we just grew apart.

It’s mostly my fault, I think.
I started prioritizing other things over her
Which I thought were more important.

But I saw her again this morning,
In the mirror.
She’s changed a lot since I last met her.

She’s not quiet anymore.
She’s emotional.
She has a sharp tongue and lies easily.

I never noticed these changes happening,
But here they were:
She grew up.

Right before my eyes.